A big week in a small dose

(This post was originally about 2,500 words… I did the best I could to edit down)

How does a 9 month old change the lives of people he doesn’t even know? How does a 9 month old make people, who have never been to Church pray? How does a baby make people who haven’t spoken in years talk to each other? I’ll tell you how. By teaching adults to get over the bullshit because at the end of the day there is nothing worse than suffering from a health related issue. My son just went through what has got to be the hardest thing a baby and a parent could ever go through.

Hospital stay, tests, surgery, and the dreaded Cancer diagnosis. Yes, cancer. Neuroblastoma. After a scare with bloody stool, an x-ray, sonogram and MRI, a tumor the size of his little heart was to blame for our visit to the hospital. Sitting in the room with a group of 5 other doctors telling me that the way to attack this would be surgery to remove the tumor, was the hardest 20 minutes of my life. Holding the tears that whole time was like I was dying. As soon as I left the room the river started to flow as I couldn’t stop crying until the next day. Not only did my son got diagnosed with the second most common type of cancer, but the surgery was brutal. He had a microscopic camera inside his body, the incision in the removal site, a decompressing chest tube (to avoid swelling of the lungs), an IV on his foot, a central IV line at his neck, an artery line in case of blood loss, a breathing apparatus down his throat, and electrodes to monitor his heart. Yet, with all of this going on, this child proceeded to stand up after anesthesia wore off. He stood up in his little hospital crib like nothing was going on. His recovery was so good that he didn’t need to go to the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit). He was in recovery a total of 3 hours and next day he was his happy self. We left the hospital Friday and this kid still amazes me. He is trying to walk, and laughing his merry self. He hasn’t even complaint about pain even though his scar is about 5 inches long. This baby and what he has been through has made family members communicate with each other. It has made people pray for him and his recovery. So much that I have a list of hundreds of people who sent their prayers for him, some of whom are not even religious yet found it in their heart to give us a prayer! I never thought I would be strong enough to type this and not cry. I think I have more faith than I thought I had a week ago. Seeing how my little baby has been through so much and still manages to enjoy his little life, shows me that no matter what’s going on, he’s strong and he will get through it.

It’s crazy how things happen and it bothers me that this happened to my sweet child but I also think everything happens for a reason and I am not the one to play God. He will not let us go through something we cannot handle. It reminded me of the Serenity prayer, which reads “God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
 as it is, not as I would have it; 
Trusting that He will make all things right 
if I surrender to His Will;
 That I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
 Amen” (Reinhold Niebuhr).

Our battle is only beginning. We will not know anything until the tumor biology come back and the next three test are done, but I just know that today we are happy. Today my baby played, laughed, walked, and enjoyed himself in every possible way and that is the only thing that matters for him and that is the only thing that I need to be strong for him and get over this.

.

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November 30, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , . Babies, cancer, friendships, Parenting, toddlers, Uncategorized.

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