Just Drive

Just Drive.


January 18, 2013. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Just Drive

I don’t really drive alone, but for the last three weeks I have driven by myself to class in New Jersey. I don’t really like driving my husbands car, he drives a small sports car, I’m used to driving my mom car. I always have the car seats and food and dirt everywhere, extra diapers, makeup extra bottles of water. Whatever you need I have in my car, my husband on the other hand only has napkins, and tools. It’s like a mini Home Depot in his car. Well I have gotten used to driving his car. The truth is people check me out. They like the sports vibe, and because he has “of the market” stuff I have people checking out my wheels and stuff.

I don’t like to admit it but, I don’t  like to drive the car yet I really enjoy the attention I get in it. It’s loud when at a stop light and I feel bad ass. I also enjoy not having the car seats and the babies in the back so I can blast the music. I love to use my car but the independence of not having a carseat is very empowering. I love the feeling of not having to worry about two little lives in the back seat.

Todays’ drive was different. Not in my husbands car but in a loaner car as mine gets service. Although it is the same make as my regular car, because it’s a sportier, newer model I also got attention. Maybe I like the fact that I don’t look like a mom but I totally feel like one, cause of course I could never pretend or forget that I am one. I also think because there are no tinted glasses or kids mirrors to look back to I pay more attention to the people around me. Don’t get me wrong, I always pay attention to the cars around me, but never to the people. When I am by myself is different. I drive differently, and I also play different music (Roll over has been playing on repeat on the cd player!). I have also enjoyed the fact that when I drive I am able to make it to New Jersey early enough to find free parking, go to Starbucks and have an uninterrupted cup of delicious coffee, and also go to the Student Center and print my work for the following week. During the drive back home, I start getting a bit anxious because it’s so much later and I feel that I have to make it home before my carriage turns into a pumpkin. But sometimes, just sometimes I feel like I just want to keep driving. Past my house, just go somewhere and explore, even if the exploration is just to a new Target or a new McDonalds.

Last night I had to leave class early because my husband had to go to work for the overnight shift. I left NJ at 9pm exactly and I drove to Dunkin Donuts. I felt so freaking cool in that car ordering at DD at almost 10pm!! When I got home I felt so accomplished! And then Gavin said “Mami’s home!” and I went back to being just a boring stay at home mom. But from now on Mondays I am driving to school just for the time by myself and the feeling of being cool.

January 18, 2013. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Friday Saturday Night

Friday Saturday Night.

January 13, 2013. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Friday Saturday Night

So as any other normal couple we ventured out on a Friday night. Of course, nothing normal about going out with 2 kids, who are getting sick and under the pouring rain. But well, we did it. After what seemed hours at the NY Hall of Science, we decided to try to find a new hip place to eat in Long Island City. Of course we didn’t really calculate the traffic factor, as it was rush hour. Needless to say we ended somewhere in Brooklyn. During our car ride, or better said, being stuck in traffic, I asked husband to have an adult conservation as both kids were sleeping. I also proposed the idea to go park somewhere and start making out! Anyways I digress, we found our way back to Queens and had burgers from Petey’s Burger. But we didn’t get out of the car, we ate our burgers in the car under the rain with two sleeping babies in the back. After we were done with the burger, husband got craving for a smoothie from the mall. Not Queens Center Mall, but Roosevelt Field. He asked if it was crazy, to which I replied “So you don’t feel bad, I’ll get Starbucks out there”. So we drove to Garden City for a smoothie and a latte. 

We got home and got ready for our bedtime routine with the boys. This particular routine included me in the bathroom for half hour with older baby trying to make him go potty and also brushing his teeth. But these kids are so much smarter. Of course they didn’t go to sleep until like 11:30 at which time, hubby and I were able to have a lone time. And then of course baby #1 wakes up “mami!! mami!!! couddle hug, snuggle in bed, blanket, mami cuddle!” he comes in the bed and the whole blog I was writing at the moment gets accidentally deleted. 

Saturday woke up late, so no time to get nails done, but booked baby #2 birthday location! Then we go to a birthday party with the most amazing food, where I had an ackward encounter with person from the past. Everything turned out cool, and even invited the person to birthday party for #2. After leaving the party we decided to come home. Sitting on the couch hubby starts to talk about how we are home on Saturday night and it’s only 10pm. I remind him that we have 2 kids, we were out all day yesterday and today and we just need to catch up with rest.

Days like these two make me think of a lot of things. For one: how, what one person could view as a horrible weekend to me ended up being a perfect weekend. Secondly how lucky I am to even have the chance to enjoy things like a drive with my husband and kids. See, the reason why it was the perfect weekend for me is because we were all together. Because we shared moments that no one else will share, it was an intimate weekend with my little family. 

Perfection and beauty are definitely in the eye of the beholder. Many people I know would have never thought of driving to Garden City for a smoothie, but that is a ride I will treasure forever, for it is in the simplicity of just spending time with the ones you love. No party, no distraction, just four beings in an automobile, which I might add is a loaner car while mine gets serviced and it’s super uncomfortable! I don’t think my life is perfect but I am glad that God allows me to see the perfect moments he lets me enjoy everyday. 

And that is all. My perfect-not so perfect weekend. 

January 13, 2013. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. 3 comments.



January 12, 2013. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.


I know there are so many blogs about breastfeeding and how and that and why and such.

This is how I see it:

One of the things I longed for the most when I got married was to have a baby, and one of the best reasons for me to have a baby was to nurse that baby. It was a picture I had in my mind since I saw my mom breastfeed my little sister. When I found out I was pregnant with #1, there was no doubt in my head I would breastfeed, but it was not commonly supported by the people I knew. So when my baby was born and I went to latch him on, it hurt like a bitch!!!! IT WAS PAINFUL! He did not latch on properly. To add to this he was 3 weeks early and very, very hungry. My milk was coming in good as opposed to other moms who struggle with milk production. After two weeks my milk production slowed down and his appetite increased. This meant not very happy baby. One night while visiting my parent I couldn’t handle the cry anymore, to add to this he still didn’t have the right latch and my labor pains where getting to me, so I went and bought formula. Everyone was so happy when I did, because the baby was full and happy. Of course giving him the bottle didn’t help the latch because now he had nipple confusion. When I got home I decided nothing was going to stop me. I went online and did a ton of research- research I hadn’t done before because I assumed the baby would just suck on nipple and milk would come out!

I also went and bought Fenugreek and Mother’s Milk Tea. I took it by the book, threw out the rest of the formula and set out to breast feed my child exclusively. I also attended two La Leche League meetings.

It was amazing how much everything changed once I knew what I was doing and got some support. After the labor pains stops and I trained baby to have a good latch, stress decreased and with the Fenugreek milk started to come in. I could not believe my eyes when I saw how much milk I could pump! I always planned on nursing for just the first year and I must admit I was nonchalant to stop, maybe because I was already 3 months pregnant with #2, so I was beyond exhausted, but also because I felt maybe I should kept going. But no, the day of his birthday I nursed him in the morning and that was the last time he latch on to my breast.

Now with second it was a bit different. I felt like a pro!!!! Except the labor pains where way more intense and it was hard to nurse during his time in the hospital. But as his birthday approaches I’m starting to wonder how I’m going to stop. I had a reason to stop with #1 (I was pregnant with #2), but now is different. I am conflicted. I want them to be equal, I am also tired and want to give my body a break as for the past 3.5 yrs it has been carrying or feeding a child. I really want to get back in shape before #3 and it’s just not something i want to do while nursing. I also feel differently with #2 because of everything his been through with the cancer, so what to do. That is my conflicting dilemma.

I want women who read this, or even men to understand that breastfeeding is just a beautiful thing. It is a way a mother nurtures her children in the form of providing them with the best possible milk. Breastfeeding is a FULL-TIME JOB. It takes time to feed baby, produce milk, pump, etc. Support makes a big difference as does education. Research is key for success! And also not quitting! I love nursing my children. In private in public, wherever-whenever (Shakira style).

I am an advocate for breastfeeding! This makes women 20 times more powerful than men, just because it’s something they can’t do! It’s super cost effective!! Hello, formula cost 20 bucks average a container! And there’s really no reason not to do it! Any problem that can come from breastfeeding, with the right support and information you can solve it.

I will update when my time comes to make a choice! To keep going or stop? that is my dilemma…

January 12, 2013. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. 1 comment.