Just a quick vent…

Thinking about the fact that I haven’t written in a while, and I have about 5 drafts started about different things from my babies to the train rides to my husband, yet I just forget to edit and post. As I was getting ready for my weekly trip from Queens to Jersey City, I started thinking that I had to leave my boys for a long period of time. Yes, I have done this every week for the last 2.5 years, never after a terrorist attack on our soil, 4 hours from NYC.

Being in NYC during 9/11 definitely changed my life. I joined the military afterwards and it was incredibly stressful to accept my sister had recently converted to Islam, yet we moved one, kept going about our business and kept living. Every year suffering the attack all over again on it’s anniversary. I didn’t think it was possible, back then to keep going and have a normal life, after witnessing such devastation and yet we did it. All of us, America. We moved on. We re-built our city to the best of our abilities.

Now fast-forward 13 years later, I have two kids, who depend on me. Seeing the attack at the Boston Marathon made me think about so many things. I was lucky during 9/11, but how many more attacks before I’m not so “lucky”? I guess this is a question for me because in my eyes everything happens in NYC!! Why? All the movies, all the disasters, all the shootings! I keep going like nothing, thinking it’s great to live here cause I feel so safe, having the biggest police department in the country helps. Today as I was waiting for the bus I was consumed by fear. Fear that on my subway ride all through Manhattan something would happen and I would not be able to come back home to my babies. I’m not trying to be negative. It’s more a sad reality that our World is breaking down. This is the reality of our lives now, we don’t know where and when something bad is going to happen, the only thing we can do is continue living like everyday is the last. Enjoying my kids everyday and savoring every minute I have with them gives me a little bit of strength to get on the subways and make it to class.  Anyways, I just wanted to let out how I was feeling as it always help to put it out there! 

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April 20, 2013. Tags: . Uncategorized. Leave a comment.