The SUMMER OF 2012

So the summer is almost done and I have no written much and I will blame it on lack of time from having two young children. That is my excuse and I’m sticking to it. So after I cam back from my dear Island I encounter the countdown to my 30th birthday. To be honest I couldn’t wait for my birthday to come. I wanted to be done with my 20’s and start a new better/healthier lifestyle at 30. Yeah so that didn’t turn as planned as I am having a huge piece of cake (with frosting) as I type. My birthday came and hubby had plans but they got rained out, we still went to dinner at this fancy place where the meal was to overpriced for me to even say that it was enjoyable! But we always wanted to try the place, and now we know why we will not try it again. The wine was good, but that’s it. The next day hubby comes and gives me a completely unexpected gift. A brand new Pandora bracelet, with not one but 3 charms. These included a cross (he says I didn’t have one), a show (because I love shoes), and a sweet rose. Can you tell he totally missed reading my previous post about having nice shit! But it’s the thought that count and at least I know he knows me!

July was a blur. I don’t remember what I did or where I went. I know my sister spend the month with me and it was awesome, towards the end of the month we went to Rockville, MD, where I had the best hamburger I have had all my life! CUBAN HAMBURGER from the Burger Joint. Delicious.

I have started to get baby fever. Not that I am ready to take care of another baby, but this time it is a real shocker how my second baby has grown. He is standing up, at 6.5 months and talking and getting his independence. This is because he’s trying to catch up to his brother. I knew the second one would do everything much faster but I definitely wasn’t ready for this. I miss the days where he totally relied on me, where I could lie down with him and not be scared that he would try to jump of the bed. This kid hits himself in the head at least once everyday, trying to do things that a 6 month old shouldn’t be doing. And for some strange reason, I am more paranoid with the baby than with the oldest one. Come to think of it, I think it’s a subconscious reflect from when he was in the hospital all poked with needles and an oxygen mask.

Of course I don’t think my husband would let me have a baby right now, and I don’t think I want to but age is creeping up on me and honestly as hard as it is taking care of two little boys, I absolutely love the relationship they are developing. They are amazing together, talk to each other, hugs and kisses all the time and they love to make each other laugh. Both of them are clowns to each other! They share clothes and even diapers at time (one wears 5 and the other 4 but if I run out of one size, I use them no matter who’s it for).

I also can’t get over the fact that my baby is 2. His birthday was 10 days ago, and I can’t believe that we’ve made it. People don’t know how bad I always wanted to have babies. Being a mother and being pregnant has been the greatest joy, blessing, adventure and emotional roller coaster for me. Of course having the children is amazing but the first step is the pregnancy, and the creating of life, in the womb, to me is the biggest miracle God ever created. This kids now talks and runs, and has a personality/attitude of his own. It is truly amazing. I have to watch myself with what I say now, because he repeats everything and he is so blessed to have an awesome family and great friends. I am very appreciative of the experiences that God has let me lived.

The week I drove to much. So in order to get help preparing for my sons birthday party, I needed my sister. My dad agreed to meet me half way. I drove, by myself to Delware. It took me 3 hours with traffic and it was crazy. I drove back that same day and that drive took 4 hours. That Wednesday hubs was in Atlantic City and he asked for us to come with him. I drove to AC and had an awesome time. We spent the day at the pool and hit the beach, walked the boardwalk. It was out of a movie for me. I needed that one day escape (yeah I came back Thursday!!) Friday I prepared for the babies party and the party was Saturday. I was a bit overwhelmed to say the least! Some of our dear friends joined us, while some didn’t. It was a very bittersweet birthday.

I’m still trying to clean up from the party! Putting things away and stuff. I have disconnected myself from a group that I was part of so that I can focus on other things. I would like to get a job, just to get out of the house and I want to continue training for my Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in October. By the way I should add, this was my biggest goal when turning 30 doing the breast cancer walk. My aunt just got diagnosed in March with this ugly disease and I have been trying to raise money to no real avail. I wonder about people sometimes. My aunt, is struggling. I don’t know how to talk to her, my mom has asked me to call her and I just really don’t know what to say. I think actions speak louder than words, so hopefully she’ll see that I am doing this for her and knows I love her.

So much to write about. I can’t believe my friend is married. Not that I didn’t think she could get married, it’s just she was the quintessential Carrie Bradshaw of our group. I missed her Church ceremony but saw her at the reception and she was beautiful. I wish I could have been a bigger part of her day and I just hope that is is happy. Now to wait for the baby!! And her new stage.

The feeling of accomplishment: The feeling I get when I got out with the two boys (it only took me 5 months!!) by myself and come back home put away everything, feed them, do bath time (which is the worst time of the day for me) and get them in bed at a decent time! Yes that is when I feel the most accomplished these days. It’s crazy how kids change everything! I still have a lot of things to work out but I think with the help of my therapist and my family I should be ok.